Imagine our frustration after 92,000 military field reports and other documents were made public by WikiLeaks and its founder, Julian Assange, that we really haven’t learned anything earth shattering about the war in Afghanistan.
Americans are in the same position before all this commotion: We’re still stuck in the fog of war.
I still haven’t decided whether I support or reject the disclosure of so many classified documents. Were these revelations a boon to democracy; or have they put so many brave men and women in the U.S. armed forces in harm’s way, while undercutting America’s foreign policy mission at a critical juncture in hunting down Osama bin Laden and his al Qaeda network?
While I’m trying to decide which side to throw my support behind; I would like to vent my unhappiness that WikiLeaks didn’t disclose more useful information that could have enlightened Americans on a whole range of subjects.
What follows are some questions that I would have liked to have seen answered by WikiLeaks, but remain mysteries.
• I’m one who firmly believes that all the trouble Tiger Woods got himself into off the golf course is no one’s business but his own. Still, I’m ashamed to admit I would love to know the circumstances which prompted Elin Nordegren Wood, Tiger’s soon to be ex-wife, to take batting practice on his Cadillac Escalade at 2:30 a.m. on November 27th, 2009, using a nine-iron.
• I’m still holding out hope that the Australian internet activist, will shed some light on which is the best personal motto to follow: ``Good things happen to those who wait’’ OR ’’ ; ``He who hesitates is lost.’’ ?
Time is of the essence.
• I was hoping WikiLeaks would reveal the secret ingredients which go into making Dunkin Donuts coffee. I pay $5.67 a day (39.69 a week, $170 a month) for three large black coffees’.
I once bought a pound bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee, hoping to save some money by brewing it at home. But it was only after my purchase and discovered it didn’t come close to tasting like the original that a sweet Pakistani woman in South Florida told me behind the counter that I would need a special pot with the right temperatures before it would taste like the original. I nodded as if I accepted her answer; but I knew deep down there was actually some conspiracy afoot that was withholding the secret ingredients.
• Before Larry King passes the baton to the new CNN host, many I’m sure, would love to know how many suspenders Larry King has in his closest? How many different colors of suspenders does he own? Does Larry own more suspenders than he has ex-wives? When was the first show he wore red suspenders? Also, WikiLeaks could have revealed whether or not Larry worked in a grandfather clause, which requires his successor to also wear suspenders? So many questions, so little time.
• With Google so adept at tracking which websites we’re visiting ; even keeping an archive of our web search history, privacy advocates are growing more alarmed having ``Big Brother’’ supervising our every keyboard stroke. Will WikiLeaks ever alert us when Google develops new software that will allow them to look to within our souls to monitor what search terms we’re thinking about?
• WikiLeaks could have performed a great public service if they made known the whereabouts of the N.Y. Mets pitching staff. The assumed pitching staff in Queens coughed up 14 runs to the Arizona Diamondbacks on Sunday; they’ve dropped six out of their last 10 games, and now find themselves 6 ½ games out of first place with hopes of earning a wild card bid fading faster than my bank account.
• When Mr. Assange said he was publishing WikiLeaks because he was a strong believer in ``transparency’’; I assumed, naively it turns out, that we would finally find out the next cast on ``Dancing with the Stars’’ along with who will replace Simon Cowell as lead judge on ``American Idol.”
• I was hoping WikiLeaks would have disclosed which was the bigger crime: Former CBS producer Robert "Joe" Halderman shaking down David Letterman for $2 million or Conan O’Brien squeezing $40 million out of NBC before he would go away.
• Forget the war in Afghanistan for a moment and just consider how many would have benefited if WikiLeaks disclosed information that would have allowed us to tell the difference between a cold and an allergy. How can we know for sure, for example, if sneezing, runny nose, congestion, and fatigue is just a common cold or a respiratory allergy? What about watery eyes? Cold or allergy? How about a dry hacking cough? Cold or allergy?
Are we being lied to about what effects mold, pollen and swelling sinuses have on our immune systems?
• Finally, I can’t hide my disappointment that WikiLeaks weren’t able to produce some critical documentation that would have linked America’s addiction to foreign oil with America’s obsession with McDonald’s French Fries. Imagine what a greener slimmer country America would be if we could kick our French Fries habit and break our oil addiction in one fell swoop?
-Bill Lucey
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