I was sorry to learn George Carlin died of heart complications at age 71 on Sunday.
By far, my most memorable Carlin routine is when he compared America�s national pastime, baseball to the National Football League.
Here�s a sampling:
``In football, you wear a helmet� in baseball, you wear cap��
``Football is concerned with downs. "What down is it?.... Baseball is concerned with ups. "Who's up? Are you up? I'm not up! He's up. ��
``Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch� Football has the two-minute warning��
It was a Carlin classic, to be sure, and one that makes me break into laughter every time I hear it.
Of course, you can�t think of the irreverent counterculture comic without calling to mind his controversial routine: ``7 Dirty Words You Can Never Say On Television��, first delivered on July 21, 1972, at Milwaukee�s Summerfest, leading to his arrest for violating obscenity laws. The charges were dismissed later that year.
As a tribute to the Bronx native�s classic, The Morning Delivery came up with ``Seven Things You Can�t Say To Certain People''
1.) One of seven things you can�t say to Jennifer Aniston: ``Hey Jenn, do you know any Hollywood actresses with tattoos you can set me up with?
2.) One of seven things you can�t say to James Carville: ``Mr. Carville, it must have been a hair-raising experience running Bill Clinton�s campaign?''
3.) One of seven things you can�t say to former Vice President Al Gore: ``Mr. Gore, can you explain the beauty of our Electoral College System?
4.) One of seven things you can�t say to Hillary Clinton. ``Duck!, Mrs. Clinton, I think we�re being hit with sniper fire��!
5.) One of seven things you can�t say to former Vice President Dan Quayle: ``Mr. Quayle, how do you spell potatoe?
6.) One of seven things John McCain can�t say to Barack Obama? ``Sen. Obama, how about we settle this election bowling a few frames?
7.) One of seven things Barack Obama can�t say to John McCain? ``Say John, how about we take to the waves and go waterboarding this afternoon?
-Bill Lucey
billlucey@bellsouth.net
By far, my most memorable Carlin routine is when he compared America�s national pastime, baseball to the National Football League.
Here�s a sampling:
``In football, you wear a helmet� in baseball, you wear cap��
``Football is concerned with downs. "What down is it?.... Baseball is concerned with ups. "Who's up? Are you up? I'm not up! He's up. ��
``Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch� Football has the two-minute warning��
It was a Carlin classic, to be sure, and one that makes me break into laughter every time I hear it.
Of course, you can�t think of the irreverent counterculture comic without calling to mind his controversial routine: ``7 Dirty Words You Can Never Say On Television��, first delivered on July 21, 1972, at Milwaukee�s Summerfest, leading to his arrest for violating obscenity laws. The charges were dismissed later that year.
As a tribute to the Bronx native�s classic, The Morning Delivery came up with ``Seven Things You Can�t Say To Certain People''
1.) One of seven things you can�t say to Jennifer Aniston: ``Hey Jenn, do you know any Hollywood actresses with tattoos you can set me up with?
2.) One of seven things you can�t say to James Carville: ``Mr. Carville, it must have been a hair-raising experience running Bill Clinton�s campaign?''
3.) One of seven things you can�t say to former Vice President Al Gore: ``Mr. Gore, can you explain the beauty of our Electoral College System?
4.) One of seven things you can�t say to Hillary Clinton. ``Duck!, Mrs. Clinton, I think we�re being hit with sniper fire��!
5.) One of seven things you can�t say to former Vice President Dan Quayle: ``Mr. Quayle, how do you spell potato
6.) One of seven things John McCain can�t say to Barack Obama? ``Sen. Obama, how about we settle this election bowling a few frames?
7.) One of seven things Barack Obama can�t say to John McCain? ``Say John, how about we take to the waves and go waterboarding this afternoon?
-Bill Lucey
billlucey@bellsouth.net
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